going to ground

img_1375 i'm almost afraid  to admit that i wasn't really all that surprised by Tuesday's result.

America is a broken thing. she's been broken for a long time now.

some of her oldest, deepest, wounds have never been healed. they've scabbed over under the march of time and the rise of political correctness, but they've never healed.

spending time in south Florida in the early 2000's, i could see that.

all it took was that hateful man to give a voice and a permission slip to the hurt and the anger and the frustration.

when people are frightened and desperate their world devolves into Us and Them. it's human nature. we're hard-wired to be tribal.

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but what little i've taken in of social media and the interwebs since Tuesday, tells me that people are mobilizing. [bearing in mind that i only visit a carefully curated selection of people and places...where there's no room for hysteria or negativity]

they're summoning love and courage and home-cooked meals.

they're resolved to try harder, to reach further and dig deeper. [both into themselves and their vegetable beds]

so maybe this isn't the train wreck we all fear it is.

maybe this is the catalyst.

maybe this is what jolts us out of our self-absorbed stupor.

maybe this is our Keep Calm and Carry On.

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so i'm going to ground for a bit -- because i need solitude and rest and the quiet that lets me hear the trumpeting of swans overhead.*

my nerves and spirit are a bit ragged.

i need to come to grips with the truth of things -- and what that means for this space and how i want to spend my time and energy.

i feel as if battle lines are being drawn and we're all going to be called to defend a patch -- i want to figure out where best i'm suited.**

and i am, as ever, struggling with the push-pull of public-private  -- all the more so after the planetary collision of last week -- so i need to give myself a stern talking-to and a firm jollying if i'm going to do my bit for the Cause. ;)

in the meanwhile, Dear Reader, i do hope you'll spend a moment considering where   - and for what and/or whom - you will draw your sword.

because i have the distinct feeling that, at the end of the day, it's going to be down to us.

until next we meet,

~m. xo

* for the second time this autumn, the swans have visited me overhead at work. today, a solitary flew around and around in the same patch of sky as i stood and watched. i often see them in the spring, but never before in the autumn. not one to ignore a moving statue, i was suitably humbled and given over to Thinking Carefully About Things..

** i'm envisioning an army of introverts.  it's the ultimate surprise attack. no-one will expect us. until, all of a sudden, there we'll be...brandishing pens and flowers and hurling pots of scalding tea. :)

all kidding aside, it's going to be really hard for me (us) because i (we) don't fit the typical banner-snapping, fanfare-of-trumpets,placard-waving approach to effecting social change. so that makes me feel as if i have little (nothing) of any practical value to offer. but i know that's not true. i just have to believe myself when i say it.