conducive to life

img_1411 i really can't comment further on the whole election debacle, or the circus-ongoing. i feel utterly unqualified to speak intelligently about the details, and so i won't. there are plenty of people who are, and i applaud their willingness to do so.  the short version is this: the world is broken. we knew this. we just didn't realize how badly. now we need to fix it. or at the very least, not let it get any worse.

i spent my time, since last i posted, in a self-imposed digital exile of sorts. i find i need to do this from time to time...more often, these days, it seems.

i had written as my November intention in my daybook -- "Be Analogue". and so i was. mostly, anyway. i visited my favourite haunt...and after a spell, wandered back into reading my favourite blogs. i took Instagram off the silly pink phone and now, instead of scrolling through images while i eat my breakfast, i just eat my breakfast.

i must admit, i miss connecting with people on Instagram...some folk only exist there, these days....but now that i've beaten the twitch, i don't know if i want to risk falling into old habits.

img_1402

anyway.

i read. i rode. i doodled. i watched the last season of Mr.Selfridge by myself and the sixth of Doctor Who with the girl-child. River Song! can you believe it?! *sigh*

random aside: don't you just love how people dressed in the 1920's? that's also what i loved about Downton Abbey...seeing how, even the farmers and other "common people", put an effort into what they wore. we're such slobs in comparison.

i also did rather a lot of thinking and noodling in my notebook.

img_1397

it all drills down to this:  i'm no good to anyone unless, first - i'm good to myself and then, by virtue of my well-tended self -  my people.

it's the tired old metaphor of putting on one's own oxygen mask first.

and truly, there is absolutely NOTHING that i am able to change beyond myself and my immediate sphere.

i don't come to this conclusion lightly. i realize how self-serving and narrow it may sound, but, having tried - on numerous occasions - being All Of The Things to All Of The People, i'm left an emotional and psychological ruin.

i understand my limitations and i won't apologize for them anymore.

i won't continue to berate myself for my perceived Not Enough-ness.

so there

 

img_1404

i just finished reading Orchard House by Tara Austen Weaver.  at one point she quotes a farmer that she once interviewed, commenting on a flock of wild geese that changed course took up residence with his own flock of geese rather than continue their flight.

he said, "Their DNA is to find the conditions that are conducive to life, to happiness...They find it here."

to which Ms. Weaver mused: "We are seeking the conditions of our greatest happiness."

that really struck a chord with me.

i think it sums up completely, my desire for a slower, simpler life.

the conditions of my greatest happiness lie fully and completely within a life lived more slowly, more intentionally, more consciously.

i can change my habits, my purchasing patterns, my perspective.

i can create a warm (well, perhaps not literally, considering our patchwork house!), nourishing and nurturing home for my family.

i can feed us cleanly and well.

i can be a good steward to this patch of earth upon which we are so very fortunate to live.

surely, then, from there, the ripples will join with the ripples of other folk doing the same sorts of things and, alone-together, we build the momentum of a revolution.

of course, it goes much deeper than that -- it's hard to articulate the various threads that have led me to the head-space in which i currently dwell -- there have been so many and they're so varied.

ultimately, though, it comes down to understanding that contrary and often exasperating creature - me.

and believe me when i tell you, changing me is a big enough task to be getting on with. :)

img_1414

so that's where i am and where i'm going...it's where this odd and eclectic digital space of mine is going.

deeper into the How and Why - the ethics, the options, the philosophy.

boldly into the missteps and bumblings - the garden, the poultry, the perils of drought.{#thestruggleisreal :)}

happily into the next leg of the adventure - keeping an open mind and an open heart; being patient; having faith.

with a hearty dose of magic and a sprinkle of snark.

wouldn't be me, otherwise. ;)

i hope you'll travel along with me, Dear Reader, your forbearance is epic to have come this far. ;)

wishing you all the magic of the universe,

~m. xo